I don't drink

I don't drink.

When I gave up alcohol nearly six years (really, Linda, it's been that long?) ago it was a simple experiment to see how long I'd go with out a drink. Well, it's been 2141 days and counting.And I'm actually pretty proud of myself that I made it through these last two years without caving.  I won't lie: I wanted more than one, more than once. I breathed through it, and made it home again.

Until just a couple of weeks ago we had a very fully stocked liquor cabinet: Tom's Bushmills, of course, and a very special bottle of Chivas. Then the usual rum, vodka, gin, etc., and some less common but still useful ouzo, port, sherry, sundry liquers.And we had on hand whatever it takes for strawberry daiquaris, including strawberries in the freezer. And if you knew Tom, you know that many of these bottles were gallons or at least liters. No pints for him: even liquor has to be cost effective.

I know what the law in Massachusetts is regarding open liquor containers in cars: It's against the law to drive with open containers in the passenger section of a vehicle. Having them in the trunk is okay. I drive a minivan, though, so the entire car is "passenger section". So I put all the liquor (except the amaretto and kahlua [cheesecakes] and sherry [for marinades] and the two buck Chucks I keep in the cellar for tomato sauce),  into heavy brown paper bags, placed the bags behind the driver's seat, and brought them to a friend who had just moved to a rather distant Boston suburb, where I'm sure she'll find a good home for all of these treasures.

I drove very carefully: I stayed in my own lane, stopped at every yellow light, yielded at every intersection, and flicked the blinker on well before each necessary turn.

Over the summer I was driving with my brother Jack who is now a college professor, but formerly was a Boston cab driver. He commented while driving with me once that I could be a Boston cabbie if I ever wanted to. I took that as a high compliment.

Until then, if you see me stopping at yellow lights, using my blinker to change lanes, or yielding at a yield sign, I probably just have booze in the back seat.